Reflecting Back - 2007

Lengthy post ahead. You've been warned!

It been so long since I've been on Blogger that I almost forgot how to login! How has everyone been? Believe it or not, I've missed all of my regular friends here in blog-world. You know who you are.

So much has happened since my last post. First off, I have a new job. No, I have not moved to a new company. My company is embarking on a new and exciting project and they've asked for me to join the new project team to provide technical expertise. Its does not pay more nor is the job any easier. But I took it on two grounds - it is something that I will probably enjoy doing and I will be working regular hours. Previously, my posting with Management required me to work a permanent 5 pm to 2:30 am shift. It was beginning to take a toll on my sanity and family life. So when this new project came along and they wanted me, I jumped at the opportunity. No more Management work. Its not that I dislike Management work but I think I love technical stuff more. I think it is an area where I can probably add value. Sadly, as the project is currently confidential, I am unable to share too much (you never know who is reading this!) but when I can, I guarantee I will.

With this new job, I have found more time to spend with the family. Mrs Premster and I now can have dinners together and spend time with the Devster, something which I have failed at since his birth. I think for the last year or so, he probably knows me as the guy who comes out of the room at about 2 pm, goes to his computer to do work and then is out of the house by 4:30 pm. On certain days, its out the door by 2 pm! He doesn't get to see me come home in the wee hours of the morning so me popping out of my room every afternoon probably reminds him of his jack-in-the-box. These days, we get to go for short evening walks. They're short walks because his legs are short! I noticed for every step that I take, he has to take three or four to keep up. So before long, he tires out and asks to be carried.

I've discovered that Dev has a new obsession (aside from TV and gadgets like his old man) - the lift / elevator in our block! You should see the glee on his face when he stands in front of it anticipating the opening of the doors. And when he's out after the ride is over, he looks back longingly till the lift goes off to serve other residents. Some days, its hard to get him to leave the lift lobby. If he had his way, he'd be riding the lift up and down all day.

2007 will be gone in about 24 hours. I feel kind of sad because it has been a good year generally. And with me, good years are sometimes hard to come by. I made some new year resolutions at the start of 2007 and sadly, they were not all fulfilled. There are three main ones. First off, I decided that in 2007, I was going to cut back on my spending on gadgets. This was an utter failure - considering I am writing this entry on a brand new Apple Macbook which was purchased about a month ago. Aside from this, my other major purchases over the year include a Apple TV (streams video, music and pictures from PC directly to a high-definition TV wirelessly), my trusty Nokia E90 Communicator, a top-notched sound system in my car and I built a home theatre in our study room complete with a LCD projector, Bose 5.1 speaker system and a movie screen. It took our contractor 1 1/2 days to put the entire thing together! The sad thing is, we've not had the time to use it since we got it set up.

Secondly, I planned to read more. I started off the year buying some books, mainly biographies of famous people like Bill Clinton and Steve Wozniak. I went through them and as the momentum caught on, I bought more like For One More Day (Mitch Albom), The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari (Robin Sharma), The God Delusion (Richard Dawkins) and Jeremy Clarkson's (from Top Gear) And Another Thing. So far, I've managed to crack Jeremy's book on his light-hearted take on life. I'm a long way from being done so I guess the rest of the unread books will be for 2008.

And lastly, I promised myself to get into shape. I started off the year with walking / jogging about 4 km every two to three days. I was hoping that by the end of 2007, I'd have biceps that Arnold Schwarzer-whats-his-face would be envious of and a six pack where my belly used to be. Regretfully by April, this had tapered down to 0 km per week and my belly is still intact, getting more and more 'prosperous' as the days go by.

Speaking of an ample belly, Eddie has been getting chunkier and chunkier by the day. The previously hyper-active, lean, mean ball-catching machine has now become pudgy and sluggish. The vet told us that is is probably because of his sterilization sometime in August. So, it looks like Eddie and his pal (The Premster) need to get out and exercise. With this new work arrangement, I think there is a good possibility. Of course, I have slated this to be my new year resolution again. Recycling! Isn't it great?

I will always remember 2007 as the year we celebrated my only son's first birthday! Looking back, the experience was surreal, to say the least. It still is, actually. Considering the many failed relationships I've had over the years, I never expected to find a lovely woman and settle down, let alone have a little boy of my own. Sometimes during conversations with friends, a strange yet warm feeling overcomes me when I say "my son". I hope that warm feeling never diminishes.

2007 also was sad for me because I found that I was betrayed by people I loved the most - my family. It is a terrible feeling to have someone you love and trust betray you and while I still think of them fondly, I have distanced myself from them for the sake of my wife, my son and my sanity. Being alone without parents to fall back on for support, the need to protect my own family from harm has become paramount. I am sure they will never understand my point of view, especially when they love steering away from the truth when confronted with it.

The most painful thing about 2007 was the fact that I discovered that my father, a man that I deeply respected, cared for and loved had also hung me out to dry. Recent events and findings have painfully proven this. This has saddened me in the most profound of ways especially when I believed my father, of all people, would not do anything to hurt me. I do not wish to desecrate his memory in any way so I won't go into any details. But I try to console myself with the fact that he didn't realise the consequence of his actions and was not given enough time on earth to rectify the wrong. Anyway, it is something I will now have to bear on his behalf and I hope to find the strength to move on with it.

Some time ago, I mentioned that I was heading back to running my father's business. So far, six months have passed and this has also been taking up a lot of my time. Sometime in October, my wife and I injected a great deal of funds to the company to give it a much needed makeover. I hope this will pay off in 2008. During my stint doing the night shift, I had time during the day to go down to the office to check on things. These days with my new regular working hours, I meet with the Manager once or twice a week in the evenings to check on the progress at the company, to sign cheques and letters, etc. All other matters are sorted out via phone and emails. So, my new Apple Macbook has been working overtime since it came to live with me. Anyway, I hope to give you a good 'financial' report by the end of 2008. Wish me luck, ya?

A couple of hours ago, I watched Evan Almighty on my iPod Touch just after taking a Sunday afternoon nap. In the movie, "God" (played by Morgan Freeman) tells Evan's wife (played by Lauren Graham of Gilmore Girls fame) "If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?" These words brought tears to my eyes - something I rarely do when watching movies - because this is so true. The last few years, I had hoped for more time with my family and frequently prayed for it. And after relentless "requests", the new job opening came about three weeks ago and today, I have more time with my family. I guess when you pray hard enough, a door is presented to you. You either knock and go in or you walk away. In the end, God helps with an opportunity. It is still up to you to make the best of it.

So as 2007 draws to a close and as I embark into 2008, I pray for....

• The opportunity to guide my son intellectually and spiritually
• The opportunity to protect my family and home
• The opportunity to build and excel in my career
• The opportunity to ensure the good health of my wife and little boy
• The opportunity to be a better husband and a better father

And if it is not too much to ask, I'd also love the opportunity to own a Lexus IS250. *wink*

Here's wishing all of you - Ghasheema, Eshda3wa, Dandoon, Princess, Vanessa, Pigmite and Phoenix a very Happy and Peaceful 2008.

Farewell?

Life has suddenly shifted into high-gear for me in the last month or so, leaving me little time to pen (or in this case, type) my thoughts into this blog aptly titled "Things That Fill My Head".

I started this blog one quiet evening while at work some 1 1/2 years ago. Sitting at my desk and thinking about my father, the thoughts and memories of a man who passed away less than 3 months earlier started to overwhelm me. Suddenly, I felt an urgent need to unload my thoughts before it started to consume me. It was probably the most intense feeling I had in my life up to that point. Then, it hit me - a blog. I quickly did a search for blog sites on the Internet and came across Blogspot. I scrambled to register and before long, I started banging out my thoughts and feelings into a text window much like the one I am typing in now.

As the words flowed, so did the tears. There I was, at my desk in the office, tears flowing down my face as I typed furiously to free myself from the pain of the memories of my father - a man I respected, cared for and most importantly, loved. And so my personal blog came to be, the very first entry dedicated to my father - a man who loved writing and to the point he became ill was writing his life story.

After I hit the "post" button, it appeared on the site. I figured this was it and I'll never write again. For one thing, I knew no one was going to read it beause it'll probably get lost in the millions of blogs here - many of which are visited by at least 20 - 50 people a day. I didn't know anyone who had blogs so it'll just sit in there - the memory of my father and his son who made a small, insignificant mark on the blogging world. Or so I thought.

The next day, a "Sparkling Princess" posted a comment. I didn't know who she was or even how she came to reading my blog. Till today, I've never asked. But I will always be grateful for her very comforting comments. That one comment became two and before long, I had "faceless" friends (Dandoon, Ghasheema, Esada3wa, Phoenix, Zizo and Vanessafrida - ok, I know Vanessa personally so she's not faceless!) who have come to mean a great deal to me. And as the friends grew, so did my blog entries - some insightful, some utterly silly and I know those pertaining to my obsession with gadgets irk the heck out of everyone! My biggest fan? My wife! She says all my blog entries are great. We all know she's just being her usual sweet self.

I love writing. I love sharing my thoughts. More than that, I love the funny / honest comments. Believe it or not, I am saddened by posts that garner "0" comments. I was so serious about this blog that I bought a URL with my name to link to it last year. But lately, I've realised that time is no longer on my side. So many things have changed in the last month or so and even the little time spent with my little boy is dwindling. This guilt is weighing on me the most. I will share more in a later post - which I hope will be soon.

I want so much to carry on but I don't know how. It may be hard to say goodbye to a blog I put time, effort and emotion into but what is harder is to say goodbye to friends I've grown to love and respect.

This is not farewell as yet. I hope that in the coming weeks, there will be some reprieve and I'll get back into the momentum. "Hope"... a word I've been uttering on a regular basis over the last few weeks.

Perhaps you could share how you find time to write in spite of your busy schedule?

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

38 And Counting

Whoa... the big 3-8 is upon me.

The flurry of activity during birthdays has somehow faded. Back in the day, birthdays were a big deal. I had a day jam-packed with appointments with friends and family and I was determined to keep every single one of them. So, it was a mad rush. After school (my Pre-University days), I'd start off with lunch with all my classmates at a fast-food restaurant. Our usual choice was Pizza Hut at Plaza Singapura cos we could do a little shopping after lunch.

My friends were really sweet. Knowing I was a huge collector of vinyl records (12" remixes), they'd spring for one - and it would usually be a rare remix. I'd make them sign on the record label and believe it or not, I still have them today. Playing those records bring back wonderful memories.

After that 3 - 4 hour session, I'd rush off to either meeting some relatives or have a date. Of course, those dates were far from romantic because firstly, I was not really looking for a girlfriend back then (school, friends and deejaying too up all of my time) and secondly, I hardly think tea and cake at 4:30 pm was romantic. Still I was flattered that anyone would actually ask.

Evenings were reserved strictly for family. My parents worked long hours and so as not to leave them out, I'd have final celebration of the evening at my Dad's company - the very same one I am running today. My Mum would buy a huge birthday cake along with curry puffs, cream puffs, sausage rolls and drinks and we'd invite my Dad's students to come join the celebration. No birthday celebration back then would be complete without my absolute favourite - Dunkin' Donuts. Its a pity they no longer exist in Singapore.

This celebration, of course, a far cry from what it's like now. I woke up bright and early (which is rare for me on a Sunday) and Mrs Premster, Devster and I headed to the temple to pray. We got home and my dear wife catered a lunch fit for a King. My in-laws came by and we all had lunch together. My mother-in-law made her famous traditional dessert - something which is to die for. We then got together to cut my birthday cake - a special blend of dark chocolate and banana cream. I'd have to say that was the best store-bought birthday cake I have ever had in my 38 years of existence.

After that, I was already pooped out. So, I took a nap. I got up and found it was already 7 pm. I decided that I didn't want the day to end just like that so on impulse, I took my lovely bride for a candle-lit dinner at a quiet restaurant. We had lamb chops and ice-cream with brownies for dessert. What I enjoyed the most was that quiet time with her - something which we haven't had for a long time.

Between the two, I'd have to say that I prefer the latter. It felt more meaningful to spend time with my family - "my family".... something I never thought I'd say when I was celebrating my birthday with my classmates at Pizza Hut.

I have to thank my uncle "K" for his call in the morning wishing me good health and good fortune, "JK" for her birthday e-card, "ER", "JC" and my best pal cum bro "W" for the text message greetings. Never thought you guys would remember! "W" promised a "wonderful gift". He shouldn't have troubled himself but I'm excited to see what it is anyway. *wink*

Most of all, I thank God for Mrs Premster, The Devster, Eddie and Casey for being a part of my birthday celebration and my life. I think that is the best gift I could ever have.

And what did my dear wife get me for my birthday? She got me an iPod Touch!

Hope you guys and gals had a fun-filled weekend too!

Size Doesn't Matter

Exactly a year ago today, my wife, our then 1 month old boy and I moved from our 1463 sq feet private apartment to our current public housing of approximately 1000 sq feet. It was purely circumstances that led us to move to smaller and simpler accomodation.

Although it was my idea to sacrifice another bigger apartment to be paid for over the next 20 odd years versus a smaller one that we can own immediately, I was extremely worried about my decision, one that would impact all of us, on moving day. All my life, I've lived in private housing. So did my wife. This is the first time either of us was to experience life in a Government-subsidised apartment. I remember begging under my breath "Please God, let this be a good decision" as I locked our former home for the very last time.

A year down the road, I'd have to say that the decision was not a bad one after all. Thank God. Although smaller, my wife has made it very cosy and comfortable for all of us. It is easier to clean and manage and for the first time in my life, I have everything (my home theatre and sound systems) set up the way I like. My wife has a kitchen she loves and The Devster has his very own playzone.

Aside from the comforts within our home, everything appears to be a stone's throw away. My wife takes the MRT to work everyday and it takes her a total of 25 minutes from the time she steps out the door to the time she sits at her desk. Although I drive to work (due to my late and long hours), it would actually take me less than 20 minutes to walk to my office!

The neighbourhood is fantastic too! There's a 24 hour food place about 10 minutes away by foot, a 24 hour clinic 5 minutes away, a regular wet-market about 5 minutes away and our block is surrounded by lots of playgrounds which I'd expect The Devster to be hanging out at when he's older. If we don't get our groceries from the wet-market, there is a major shopping mall which is about a 10 minute walk down the road and has a huge supermarket. This is the same mall where I bought my "Moses phone" recently. I love this mall because it has practically everything!

Aside from the tangible comforts, what makes this place immensely significant is the fact that this is really my very own family's home - where I am fully responsible for everyone's well-being. It is a huge responsibility where my every decision will fully affect everyone living under the same roof. Fortunately for me, I am blessed with a life-partner who is herself blessed with level-headedness and the ability to remaining calm under pressure - two traits I am sorely lacking in. Oh, and she's an excellent cook to boot!

All in all, we're very happy here. Recently, my wife and I were talking about the future and one thing was apparent - even if we could afford to move to more luxurious accomodations, it would be remarkably hard for us to leave our present home. Many lovely memories have been made here and I am sure there's more to come.

Home, sweet home.

Extreme Makeover - Home Edition

I mentioned sometime in July that Mrs Premster and I were putting together a dedicated playzone for The Devster. The playzone, imported from America, is up and running and our "ster" junior spends a good part of the day in it, playing with his toys, having lunch, a little TV entertainment and catching up on some leisure reading. Actually, he's into tearing the pages for now.

Anyway, I thought I'd post a picture of Dev's playzone. Here it is....

And here's our resident structural engineer checking to see if it is safe for occupation. (oops... no pants!)

As you can probably see, a large chunk of our living room is "gone". Thankfully, our ever-efficient domestic helper takes the playzone apart at the end of the day so that I get to stretch my legs out in front of the tele when I get home after a hard day's work.

This is how our place looked like just before we moved in.

Speaking of our home, look out for my upcoming post.

Little Boy Blues

Our little boy was ill over the last couple of days.

It was a very worrying time for us. The Devster (I'm calling him that from now on) has fallen ill before but he never had a fever spike at close to 39 degrees celsius. I was asleep when our domestic help called my wife at work (instead of waking me!) to say that our boy had a fever. My wife tried calling me on my mobile phone but having had only two hours of sleep, I was in too deep to hear. By the time I noticed the missed call and text message, our help was just about to step out the door with our boy to meet my wife at the clinic. Still in a daze from lack of sleep, it took me awhile to put the pieces together.

Later in the day as I was getting ready to leave for work, I checked on The Devster and found that his fever had not improved even after two doses of medication. Popped a ear thermometer in his ear and found that the stupid batteries were dead. As if on cue, Murphy decides to rear his ugly head when I found that our usually well-stocked battery drawer had no batteries! As I started tearing through my 10 remote controls to find a usable set of batteries to get at least one temperature reading, I called my boss to say that I needed half a day's leave. As I got off the phone, I found a set of batteries from my TV remote and popped it into the thermometer. Reading - 38.5 degrees. "To the doctors, we go", I told The Devster. He seemed excited about the prospect of a mid-week outing. Oh, and so was our domestic help. She quickly slipped in "Shall I come?", trying hard to sound helpful. I told her to get ready and called my wife, who was already on the way back from work.

We brought him to the hospital. After the routine checks, the doctor requested that he be given a suppository. About an hour after, his fever came down. We've heard horror stories about how high fevers can cause seizures and brain damage so we were definitely heaving a sigh of relief when his fever dropped below the 38 degrees mark.

It was a harrowing experience for the both of us, but more for our little fella as he has no way of communicating how he is feeling. I am glad to report that he is much better today and he's back to putting my remote controls in his mouth and fondling my sound systems.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Beach Boy

Last Saturday, I decided to bring the whole family out. Usually, its my wife, our litle boy and I or my wife, Eddie, Casey and I or my wife, our little boy and our domestic help. I was feeling a little down last week and thought getting everyone out of the house for some fresh air would be fun and would do me some good. So, we did. I can't believe that we managed to squeeze my wife, Dev, our domestic help, Eddie, Casey and I into our sports sedan.

At least I now understand why sports cars are not for family men. *wink*

Where did we go? To the beach at East Coast Park. We've regularly brought Dev to the beach when he was comfortably resting in his Mummy's tummy but not after. So, we thought it would be the best place to go.

We got there at about 4:30 pm and the place was packed. We took a walk and after about 20 minutes, found ourselves at the jetty. We walked on to the jetty and stopped at a nice cool location. Dev was overwhelmed at the sight of the sea. As the waves hit the shores, he smiled and suddenly found the need to "wave" back!

Casey was extremely well-behaved but not Eddie. A little girl, about 3 - 4 years old, saw him and decided to pull her Daddy along to meet the cute small white and brown "puppy". As she approached, Eddie suddely barked loudly at her, sending her running back to Daddy. My wife had to apologise as I voiced my disapproval with Eddie. "Bad dog!", something that works wonders at home, fell on deaf (and pointy) ears. Eddie was more interested in luring people to him with his charming good looks and then scaring them away.

We ended the evening by walking to a nearby food centre where I went to all my usual favourites and ordered their specials to go. We would have liked to stay on for dinner there but alas, dogs are not allowed in food establishments - even the open air ones like the food centre at East Coast Park.

Here are some pictures.

Eddie - Waiting for his next victim

The Beach - At East Coast Park

Hmmm... wonder where we'll find ourselves this weekend. Have a great week ahead!

Manhood

Warning : Not for the squeamish. Read at your own risk.

Eddie, our dog and everyone's best friend, lost his "manhood" last Friday. To put it technically, we had him neutered. It was a difficult decision for my wife and I to make for someone we love very much but I guess it had to be done.

You see, lately, Eddie has been feeling a little more needy than usual. It is no wonder especially with our little boy in our lives. Its hard to spread the little time my wife and I have between the three. Emphasis will always be for our little boy but we are constantly feeling guilty when we shower attention on him and Eddie and Casey are somewhat neglected.

To compensate for this, Eddie has been trying to "get it on", for a lack of a more elegant term, with Casey. And Casey, being the strong feminist that she is, hasn't allowed Eddie to get his way - ever! This is apparently causing Eddie a lot of frustration and the two end up fighting regularly these days. So, we had to nip it... er... in the bud.

Eddie has his needs. And it is painfully obvious that Casey doesn't. Perhaps that is our fault too - cos we got her spayed when she was just 6 months old. We needed to help Eddie. So, we did some research on the Internet as well as gathering some background from our vet. As it turned out, the process of neutering has some benefits for dogs. For one, he will no longer be prone to testicular cancer or prostate diseases. Dogs tend to occupy a large part of our hearts but live unduly short lives. By doing this, we minimise the risk of him having diseases that are difficult to treat and ensuring that he lives a long and healthy life. Also, his "needs" will be significantly reduced thus helping him get off Casey's back - literally. One of the other minor benefits is that he will no longer feel the need to leave his calling card at every possible lamp-post.

So, after a few weeks of discussion and decision-making, we agreed to have it done. I felt bad for Eddie the night before for taking something so precious away from him. Being a guy, I would understand. On the way to the vet's, I kept patting him as I was driving telling him that it would be ok. He was dropped off at 10 am and we were told to pick him up at 6:30 pm.

Being the anxious people we are, we got to the vet's at 6 pm. I was concerned for Eddie. Although the doctor assured us that the procedure was routine and there was nothing to be worried about, it still caused me a lot of nervousness. When we got to see him at around 6:45 pm, we were met with a severely groggy Jack Russell who was just waiting to get out of the metal cage that kept him prisoner for the last few hours. His surgery went well. All that is left of where Eddie's family jewels used to be "displayed" appears to be an empty sack resembling a shrivelled prune.

As he tried to leap out into my arms in that sleepy state, I tried to grab him but flinched when I remembered that he had stitches. At that instant, I felt a pain myself - in the same "geographical" location. I think it is called "sympathy pain". I tried very hard to steady him. I think the vet saw the worry (and pain) in my face and comforted me with "dogs are more resilient to pain than we give them credit for".

This was so true. Although Eddie had strict instructions (through us) not to run around, indulge in rough play or jump around, he started hopping onto our relatively high sofa and taking leaps onto the raised up area that is our dining room a couple of hours after he got home. Although a slight limp was noticible, it was obvious the pain didn't bother Eddie too much. But not me. Everytime he hopped onto the sofa, I'd wince just thinking of the pain.

Eddie is still within his recovery period but I am glad to say that he's doing well and running around happily as though a weight has been lifted. Ok, bad joke. But I am glad to see that he appears to be calmer and well-behaved.

More about neutering and spaying can be found here.

Eating Insects

I have come to the definitive conclusion that children's nursery rhymes and songs are highly disturbing.

It sounds all nice and cheery but when you analyse the lyrics, they can be quite worrying. Although I've talked about it before, nothing I've described is as disturbing as this song that I heard while one of my son's CDs was playing in our living room.

Check this out....

There Was An Old Woman

There was an old woman who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a bird,
How absurd! to swallow a bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a cat,
Imagine that! to swallow a cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a dog,
What a hog! to swallow a dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a goat,
Just opened her throat! to swallow a goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a cow,
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a horse,
She's dead! — of course!

I asked Mrs Prem about buying such a disturbing CD for our son. As it turns out, it is a children's classic! Here's a video!

Suddenly, Rihanna's "Umbrella" doesn't sound so bad for a 1 year old.

Umbrella (Chorus) - Rihanna

When the sun shines
We’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'm ma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella

That's more like it. A song about friendship, sharing and protecting oneself from the rain.

*sigh*

I'm One!

Hellooo everyone! I'm Dev! I hope you don't mind me borrowing Daddy's bloggie to share my birthday celebration with you!

Did you know I turned one year old last Sunday? I didn't too! I woke up nice and early as usual and when Mummy brought me into the living room, there were colourful buntings on the ceiling that said "Happy Birthday" and a whole bunch of balloons on the table ready to be inflated! I giggled with delight because I knew I was going to have a good day. What surprised me more was that Daddy was up and about too - which is rare on a Sunday because he sleeps in till way past noon. Don't tell him I told you but Daddy LOVES sleeping.

Mummy had bought me some new clothes last Friday and I got to wear those. I looked totally cool. Daddy, Mummy and I headed out and went to the temple. We all prayed and then we left to go to the mall that was near our home. I was excited to hear that we were there to collect my first birthday cake! It was huge! Daddy said it was 2 K G. What does K G mean? Anyway, it had a lot of cream and my favourite character, Spot. Spot is like Eddie, always running everywhere with his ball. I've never tasted cake before so I was really excited!

By the time I got home, I was tired from all the excitement. Mummy and Daddy had a few more errands to run so I decided to stay home to get some rest. By the time I woke up, Daddy and Mummy were back with food and the balloons were all inflated and had streamers hanging from under them! Our home looked so colourful!

Not long after, Grandpa and Grandma came. Grandma showered me with kisses and Grandpa bought me a nice birthday suit. It was a real suit, not the usual definition of "birthday suit". *wink* Mummy helped put it on and I looked really smart - like James Bond Jr!

Here's when I got upset. When it was time to cut the cake, Daddy insisted that he help me cut it and held my hand. But I am already one year old! So, we struggled a little and since Daddy was stronger, I had to bring out the big guns - I started to kick up a fuss! It worked! And when I was about to blow out the candles, Mummy thought I might not be able to do it and she did it on my behalf! No fun! *humph*

Anyway, we all had cake and the adults sat together to have dinner. And after dinner, we all sat around to chat a little. I tried to share my thoughts but despite my intellectual input, all the adults could do was mimic whatever I say and then laugh. *sigh* I'll never understand them.

And the best part of a birthday besides the cake? Presents!! Daddy and Mummy got me a Lego set for little ones like me. So, you can imagine the size of those blocks. I can't wait to grow up so that I can get a regular Lego set like the ones Daddy plays with. Oops... that was supposed to be a secret too. Ssshhh! Uncle W, Daddy's best friend, bought me a push-car which I can drive with a steering that looks like a motorcycle's. Very cool! Way cooler than Daddy's car! Too bad its a single seater, if not I could give Mummy a ride to the market to buy my favourite Sweet Potatoes.

Before long, everyone left and I was really tired. I had a bath, a nice tall warm bottle of milk before turning in. I had loads of fun and am really excited about my next birthday celebration. I'm guessing it's this weekend?

Anyway, here's to my 1st birthday! As the adults always say - Bottoms up! I'm doing it in my picture. See?


I now return you to your regular programming. Over to you, Daddy! *hehehe*

TJ Beary Hurt

As it turns out, my son is a huge Jackie Chan fan. Although I've not witnessed it personally, my wife has told me that he is usually transfixed when good ol' Jackie does his stuff on TV.

As a Daddy, it is quite the relief to know that he is into the "macho" stuff. It is a bigger relief to know that I wouldn't have to deal with a massive coronary worrying about him showing interest in Barbie dolls over GI Joe action figures.

Anyway, for his first Christmas (in 2006), I came across a loveable toy called TJ Bearytales and having seen it in action, I decided that this was something I must get for our little boy. This is a bear which tells stories and sings in a cute, slightly raspy child-like voice. To make the little fella appear real, TJ (short for Theodore James) Bearytales has some really impressive animatronics - just like the cute, yet life-like characters that are created in Jim Henson's Creature Shop. Here's a video of TJ performing "The Story Box Song".

Since Christmas, TJ became so much a part of our little boy's playtime that he became quite real to us too. We'd watch with facination how TJ would tell stories with so much expression and excitement with our little boy sitting and listening intently. I have even found myself unconsciously asking "How are you today, TJ?" as I pass the toy with his switch in the "off" position.

Last week, my wife brought TJ to me and said that TJ wasn't responding correctly. His mouth no longer moved, his ears no longer wiggled and he started taking his time telling stories with long pauses in between. Suspecting weak batteries, we got new ones and popped them in. It didn't work. I later learnt that our son had put some Jackie Chan moves on the poor little bear and, in my "medical" opinion, has most likely "broken his neck or spine". I felt sad for TJ because he was no longer the same fella we knew and loved.

In my son's defense, TJ was meant to be for kids 3 years or older. So, I guess it is my fault for getting TJ "hurt".

I think our boy sensed that there is something not quite right with his "friend" and these days, appears to be more gentle with him. Over the last few days, I have seen him gently leaning forward and giving TJ a kiss on his nose as TJ goes on about going on a safari or his adventures with a ladybug.

To the guys at Hasbro and Playskool, my hats off to you for making such an adorable toy that always puts a smile on everyone's faces - both young and old.

And I guess I should be grateful that my son hasn't become a fan of the high-pitched, quick talking Chris Tucker - as seen playing Jackie Chan's sidekick in the Rush Hour movie and sequels.

Time Out

I'm confused.

Isn't it a sign of love when you give a cute, soft and cuddly teddy bear to a loved one or a child?

My wife and I have been doing some online shopping over the last few days for our little boy, who will be turning one in a few weeks. So far, we've blown quite a tidy sum on a dedicated play area (two of them, to be exact) for him. This will officially turn our so-called "designer" home into what would resemble the kiddy area in your local McDonald's outlet. While the play area will keep him protected from our doggies (they love licking him!) and other possible hazards, it'll also protect my expensive (by my meagre financial standards) hi-fi / home theatre setup from a very curious little boy who simply adores buttons and lights. Oops... side-tracked.

One of my searches turned up this little teddy bear with what looks like a kitchen timer stuffed into his tummy. With that, the Time Out Bear is born. When your little one misbehaves, you can "set" a time-out for him or her on the bear's timer. To futher enhance punishment / humiliation, the smile on the bear's face looks like he's mocking your little one.

Aside from this, I can think of other practical purposes. You can have one in the kitchen as a decorative item that can double up as a timer for cooking / baking.

And if you're severely attention deprived, turn the dial and carry it through any airport security station. I guarantee you'll be the talk of the town.

For all it can do, it's a steal at US$19.98.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

The Hunt For Mocca E90

While people in New York and San Francisco were queueing to get their hands on the "Jesus phone", I was on a hunt for a gadget that was due to be launched at 9 am on the very last day of June in Singapore. I've waited eagerly for this device to arrive since it was announced and by hook or crook, I was going to get my hands on one on launch day!

Not having had much sleep since I worked the night before, I woke up bright and early (out of excitement and anticipation) to grab my "Moses" phone. Why "Moses" phone? You'll find out soon enough.

After visiting the temple, something my wife and I do every Saturday, we made our way down to one of the major mobile phone outlets in Orchard Road to pick up the Nokia E90 (Mocca - colour). By the time we got there in the early part of the afternoon, there was already a crowd. "They're probably getting the regular phones. Not many will go for such a high-end business phone, dear", my wife comforted me after noticing the nervous look on my face. We got to the customer service counter and the minute I opened my mouth and said "E90", "Sold out this morning already! New stocks in 2 weeks only!", came the reply. My heart sank dragging my smile and spirit down with it.

"Lets try the other outlets around here. There's a Nokia retailer across the road", my wife tried to cheer me up. We made our way across to the other shopping centre via the underpass. Of course, it was "sold out" when we got there! I couldn't believe my luck, or the lack of.

"We're going to United Square later to get some toys for Dev, right? Lets try the shops there", my wife said, trying to remain positive. But no matter how hard she tried, even she was losing hope. Anyway, I called a shop there that I knew. "Yes, sir. We have stock.". That missing smile returned to my face.

Not wanting to waste anymore time in Orchard Road, we got to our car and I did what is equivalent to a Formula One type lap to United Square - some 20 odd minutes away. I could just imagine that tech-filled gadget being in the palm of my hand in just a few short minutes away. I stepped into the shop and proudly ask "I would like to buy the E90". "Just sold out, sir!", came the shop assistant's response. My mind screamed "Why God, why?"

So, I officially gave up. No E90 today, I guess. We went to get Dev's toys at a Toys 'R' Us sale and decided to head to do some grocery shopping at a shopping mall just a 5 minute walk from our home.

When we got there, we headed straight to the supermarket but just before entering, my wife remembered a shop selling mobile phones upstairs. "I'll bet you $100 they don't have stock of the E90", I told my wife. She smiled weakly without saying a word. I think she was drained from the Amazing Race like island-wide hunt for this elusive device.

We walked into the crowded shop close to 7 pm and approached a nervous looking sales promoter standing at the doorway. I asked limply "Do you happen to have stock of the new E90?". "Yes, sir. Stocks just in!" My head turned quickly to my wife in disbelief. She was smiling widely. So, I didn't hear him wrongly! I went over to the counter and asked again nervously, afraid that this young man might have mistaken the model I was asking for. "Yes, let me get it for you." Like a new alkaline battery just popped in, I sprung back to life.

The salesman opened an insignificant looking cupboard in the corner and he turned to ask "Red or Mocca?". "Mocca!", I shouted back, giving him a concurrent thumbs-up as I caught a whiff of what coincidently appeared to be brewed coffee coming from the coffee outlet one floor down. Out from that cupboard came a cling-wrapped box with white bold letters that said "Nokia E90 Communicator".




Twenty minutes and slightly over a thousand Singapore dollars later, I was the proud owner of the E90. As I write this, it is sitting beside me like an anxious little puppy waiting to show off what it can do. Needless to say, I was already impressed with its specifications when Nokia announced it was making the device.

Despite the possibility and eventual reality of the huge expenditure on the part of her gadget-obsessed husband, my wife was very supportive of what was important to me. That meant more to me than actually getting the device. Thank you, dear!

And the "Moses" reference? Notice how the device parts in the middle? *wink*

Hope you had as much fun over the weekend as I did.

First Daddy's Day

I celebrated my first Father's Day yesterday.

It was bitter-sweet for me. Firstly, I still find it hard to believe that the young and mostly irresponsible fella has not only aged but become a Father. Getting old is one thing but to be a Daddy to a 10 month old boy is overwhelming, to say the least. There are many days when I feel that I've failed him miserably as a Daddy when work and other projects take up so much of my time. But what makes me feel terrible is that my little boy is so eager to forgive my neglect. His toothless smile and his casual "hey" (not sure where he picked that up) whenever he sees me says it all. To see those two reactions mean the world to me.

Yesterday, I also remembered when I celebrated Father's Day as a son. Two Father's Days have gone by since I lost my own Dad. I remember the days leading up to Father's Day where he'd remind me not to spend money unnecessarily. Not that he was reminding me about Father's Day (he knew I wouldn't forget) but he really didn't like the idea of money not spent wisely. I remember the usual warning he'd deliver. He'd say sternly "Don't go out and spend money on another watch!" Considering the number of watches I've bought him over the years, I think it was justified.

Guess what I got as a Father's Day gift from my wife and little boy?? A watch! (see picture)

Wherever my Dad is now, I'll bet he was laughing!

Happy Father's Day to all Dads out there.

Birthday Blog

"Things That Fill My Head" is one year old today!

I never imagined that I would ever take blogging seriously as I figured it was more for the "new generation" out there and not for an old fogey like myself. To be honest, among the bloggers that I know, I'd have to be the oldest with an age deficit of at least 10 years! So, having a blog was never on my mind.

In January 2006, my father passed away. I struggled to come to terms with his demise. Till today, I am still struggling. Words spoken by my father and images of him haunted my mind every day. I knew I'd never get over my father's death no matter how long I live but I needed a way to manage my thoughts, feelings and memories before it got the better of me.

I remembered my father used to spend weekends penning his thoughts and feelings in a notebook (the paper kind). He even had one titled "My Worries". I figured that by offloading his worries into the notebook, it lightened the load on his mind. My father was a man who managed his thoughts and feelings very well and this was probably one of his "tricks".

Ok, I'll put my thoughts into words. But where? Then, the idea of a blog came up. So, I reviewed a few blog hosting services out there and within an hour, decided on Blogger. All I wanted to do was to find a simple way to put my thoughts into words. After all, I was certain no one would come across, let alone read, my blog - especially in a community as huge as Blogger. I picked a user name, after multiple tries (pratically all variations of "Prem" I could think off were taken!), and started on my first entry - one dedicated to my beloved father. It felt like the most appropriate thing to write about.

With my eyes glazing over, I sat at my desk and wrote about the man I loved and respected the most in my life. As the words flowed, so did the tears. Images and stories long forgotten came flooding back. A few lines quickly became a few paragraphs and before I knew it, my first entry was done. Honestly, I felt good talking about my father openly - even though no one was listening - or so I thought.

The next day, I checked my blog and found "1 Comment". Was someone reading? I quickly clicked on it and found a spammer (the comment is still there - just for laughs)! Oh well, better 1 meaningless "comment" than nothing at all. Next, I went on to write about my two doggies. I was not expecting anymore visitors, spammers or otherwise, but I checked back to find "royalty" had graced my blog with her visit. Princess, who used to go by the name Sparkling Princess, came by and posted a lovely comment about my dogs as well as to offer her condolences for my loss. I thought it was very sweet and thanks to her, I found my way to other honest and beautifully written blogs. Since then, unseen bloggers have become invaluable friends as we share our lives with each other. Even my wife talks about you guys as if we've been good friends for ages.

So, on this 1st birthday of "Things That Fill My Head", I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to Princess, Zizo, Dandoon, Vanessa, Ghasheema and last but not least Eshda3wa for making me feel very welcome in the blogging world and allowing me to share my life with you as you have shared yours with me. I am also very appreciative of my lovely wife who is very supportive of her husband's blog and my little boy for giving me something to write about.

Its been a fantastic year blogging! I look forward to more of them.

Cheers!!

Everybody Loves Eddie

My son started to speak his first words over the last few days. When he was first born, I figured it would be something dramatic like suddenly calling out "Dada" or "Mama". Our "Super Nanny" has also been trying hard to get him to say "Auntie" and because of that, I hear it repeated so many times in a day that everytime the word "Auntie" comes up, I feel my stomach flip. But in spite of the repeated "Auntie.... Auntie... Auntie.... Auntie..." and my wife's attempts at getting our little fella to recognise his "Dada", the first words out of his mouth were.... *drum roll, please* ... "Eddie"!

We're beaming with "pride". *sigh*

I guess it was our incessant yelling at our dog that result in this blunder. So, everything is "Eddie" now. His caterpillar soft toy is "Eddie". Even the decorative statue of Buddha that graces our home is "Eddie". Of course, the little lad has his own way of saying it... "Edjeee".

Speaking of Edjeee, my dear pal has lived with us exactly 5 years today. I remember that day fondly. Since then, we've gone through a great deal together. I watched the puny little puppy grow up into a handsome dog with Einstien's brilliance, Ronaldo's ball skills and an attitude only suitable for a Rottweiler. He stuck by me through some really tough times - chronic illness and even my father's passing. He also shared in the happy times too - like when my son was born. He'd appear to stand guard while my wife fed our newborn and would come running to us in a panic when he started to cry in his crib. Eddie's like the perfect best friend you could ever imagine.

Eddie is loved by everyone - both family and friends. I get emails from colleagues at work asking "How's Eddie?" and calls to our home are of the same nature. My Uncle will ask me to send his regards to Eddie (and Casey, of course) whenever he calls. It is only after enquiring about our doggies that I get "How are you doing?"

As for my son's first word, I am going to pass "Edjeee" off as him trying to say "Dajeee" (aka "Daddy"). That'll work, right?? *wink*

Here's a picture of Eddie on the first day he arrived at our home 5 years ago.

Happy 5th Anniversary, my buddy!! We love you!

Sniffles

My little boy is down with a mild case of the flu. What's worse is I think he caught it from either my wife or me.

I guess no amount of precaution helps when you live in a small apartment.

When I saw him this afternoon, he seemed restless, was sneezing and generally irritable. But true to his nature, he still tries to smile - even though its a weak one. I can't imagine him going through this especially when he is unable to articulate what he's feeling.

I wish I were in the mood to write more but seeing my boy down like that really breaks my heart.

I hope he gets well soon.

Hand-Me-Downs

About two months ago, I got a fantastic new "toy" - The iPod Video. Since the time we got acquainted, the sexy svelt device, now immaculately dressed head to toe in high quality leather, has been my constant companion at work and at home - the only two places I can actually be found. That says a lot about my social life, doesn't it? I digress.

While I love my iPod to bits, it is beyond doubt that it will someday be replaced by another device (read : iPhone) and if that pans out, I'd hate to see a device that brought me days and nights of pleasure (minds out of the gutter please) to be laid to rest in my gadget tomb.

In comes the Tadpole - case that is. It is a case that turns any 5th generation iPod (iPod Video) into the perfect portable video player for kids. The handles are ideal for small little hands to grip the device and it comes in an array of cheery colours. Great for long road trips!

Guess who'll soon be inheriting my iPod in a year or two?

Contentment And Fulfillment

It recently came up in a discussion that I appear to be a person who is not content with what he has and constantly wants something better all the time. Ok, maybe not in so many words but this is the gist of it.

This revelation has been bothering me for a few days because it is not a quality I like to be remembered for. But no one is to be blamed for the opinion except myself, considering my barrage of mobile devices, computers, audio systems as well as my constant hankering for a better automobile.

In my pursuit of surrounding myself with the best possible technology that is within my means, has my character paid the ultimate price (no pun intended) by being deemed a person who is insatiable?

So, I sought the advice of a higher authority - the Internet - hoping to redeem what little reputation I had left. I came across this quote - "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realisation of how much you have". Touché.

The fact of the matter is, I not only realise but also appreciate what I have been blessed with in life. Perhaps, 'appreciate' might be too mild a description. 'Grateful' is hitting the nail on the head. Why? Because while people notice what I acquire, not many know how much I've lost / sacrificed during my lifetime. So every acquisition is deeply treasured.

That aside, can one truly be content with what he has and live the rest of his life without improvement? Say you're a shoe person. Is it possible to be content with the five pairs that you own and never want another for the rest of your life, unless you're replacing a broken pair that is beyond economical repair? Well, there are those that can pull it off. Truthfully, I can't. And it is not because I am unappreciative of what I have.

It all boils down to two things for me. Firstly, passion. People are passionate about a lot of things. Some like shoes, some like good clothes, some enjoy collecting watches and some would go to the ends of the earth for good food. The problem with me? I am passionate about a lot of things - watches, cars, CDs, gadgets, sound systems and computers. Unfortunately, this is not an exhausive list. These are not obtained for flash or bragging rights. For me, its the joy of discovery - the learning and understanding of new technologies. It is excitement of building something from scratch or the thrill of integrating something new with something already owned. It is the exhilaration I feel when I've stumbled upon something possible when I thought it was impossible.

Secondly, it is the fulfillment of a goal - something that you want for yourself or someone else. Having a goal or a dream in life gives you a reason to wake up in the morning, haul yourself to work and grit your teeth through unreasonable bosses and ridiculous deadlines. If I fulfill my goal, what I want will not only serve as a new learning opportunity but a trophy. Just imagine if you woke up one day and realised that you're content with everything you have. Would you still have the motivation to drag yourself to the office?

My son is growing very quickly. As he grows, I wish to give him the best of everything within my means and when he is of school-going age, I wish provide him with the best possible education. And even though my earlier post joked about him going to med school, I would do everything within my ability to ensure that he gets there should he actually wish to pursue this. This, too, is a goal. And if he said he wanted to pursue higher education after obtaining a medical degree, would I be a good father if I told him "A Medical Degree is enough, son."?

So, I've a quote of my own - "Realising what you have is being grateful, fulfillment of what you want is contentment".

Perhaps my opinion of contentment and fulfillment may appear base or even materialistic to some, but this is how I view life.

Even so, maybe it is time for a self re-evaluation.

Ode To My Rides

To all the cars I've owned before

That travelled in and out my garage doors

I'm glad I drove them all

I dedicate this song

To all the cars I've owned before

1987 Honda Integra : Owned 1987 - 1997

1990 Mazda Astina : Owned 1997 - 1999

1990 Honda CRX : Owned 1997 - 1997

1982 Honda Accord : Owned 1999 - 2001

1991 Nissan Sunny : Owned 2001 - 2003

and...

2003 Subaru Impreza : Owned 2003 - Present

I've been thinking a lot about car ownership lately. The thing is, I turn 38 in about 6 months time and it dawned upon me that I don't have much time left to own all the cars I'd love to own. Add to the fact that the cost of car ownership in Singapore is ridiculous, it seems like by the time I can actually afford to own my next car (read: Mitsubishi Evolution), I might just be too old to drive it.

All things considered, I will have to think very carefully before I purchase my next car. It has to be something I really want (not a compromise) but most importantly, I must be able to afford it. I do have my little boy to think about. He's going to med school, you know. That's the only way I'm ever going to get my final car - a Porsche 911 - as a father's day present. *wink*

No pressure at all, son. No pressure at all....

So, it looks like my Subaru Impreza and I will remain united for a long time to come. Fortunately for me, I love "her" very much!

PS. The pictures above are not pictures of my actual cars. They depict the models that I've owned.