Farewell?

Life has suddenly shifted into high-gear for me in the last month or so, leaving me little time to pen (or in this case, type) my thoughts into this blog aptly titled "Things That Fill My Head".

I started this blog one quiet evening while at work some 1 1/2 years ago. Sitting at my desk and thinking about my father, the thoughts and memories of a man who passed away less than 3 months earlier started to overwhelm me. Suddenly, I felt an urgent need to unload my thoughts before it started to consume me. It was probably the most intense feeling I had in my life up to that point. Then, it hit me - a blog. I quickly did a search for blog sites on the Internet and came across Blogspot. I scrambled to register and before long, I started banging out my thoughts and feelings into a text window much like the one I am typing in now.

As the words flowed, so did the tears. There I was, at my desk in the office, tears flowing down my face as I typed furiously to free myself from the pain of the memories of my father - a man I respected, cared for and most importantly, loved. And so my personal blog came to be, the very first entry dedicated to my father - a man who loved writing and to the point he became ill was writing his life story.

After I hit the "post" button, it appeared on the site. I figured this was it and I'll never write again. For one thing, I knew no one was going to read it beause it'll probably get lost in the millions of blogs here - many of which are visited by at least 20 - 50 people a day. I didn't know anyone who had blogs so it'll just sit in there - the memory of my father and his son who made a small, insignificant mark on the blogging world. Or so I thought.

The next day, a "Sparkling Princess" posted a comment. I didn't know who she was or even how she came to reading my blog. Till today, I've never asked. But I will always be grateful for her very comforting comments. That one comment became two and before long, I had "faceless" friends (Dandoon, Ghasheema, Esada3wa, Phoenix, Zizo and Vanessafrida - ok, I know Vanessa personally so she's not faceless!) who have come to mean a great deal to me. And as the friends grew, so did my blog entries - some insightful, some utterly silly and I know those pertaining to my obsession with gadgets irk the heck out of everyone! My biggest fan? My wife! She says all my blog entries are great. We all know she's just being her usual sweet self.

I love writing. I love sharing my thoughts. More than that, I love the funny / honest comments. Believe it or not, I am saddened by posts that garner "0" comments. I was so serious about this blog that I bought a URL with my name to link to it last year. But lately, I've realised that time is no longer on my side. So many things have changed in the last month or so and even the little time spent with my little boy is dwindling. This guilt is weighing on me the most. I will share more in a later post - which I hope will be soon.

I want so much to carry on but I don't know how. It may be hard to say goodbye to a blog I put time, effort and emotion into but what is harder is to say goodbye to friends I've grown to love and respect.

This is not farewell as yet. I hope that in the coming weeks, there will be some reprieve and I'll get back into the momentum. "Hope"... a word I've been uttering on a regular basis over the last few weeks.

Perhaps you could share how you find time to write in spite of your busy schedule?

Hope everyone had a good weekend.