Reflecting Back - 2007

Lengthy post ahead. You've been warned!

It been so long since I've been on Blogger that I almost forgot how to login! How has everyone been? Believe it or not, I've missed all of my regular friends here in blog-world. You know who you are.

So much has happened since my last post. First off, I have a new job. No, I have not moved to a new company. My company is embarking on a new and exciting project and they've asked for me to join the new project team to provide technical expertise. Its does not pay more nor is the job any easier. But I took it on two grounds - it is something that I will probably enjoy doing and I will be working regular hours. Previously, my posting with Management required me to work a permanent 5 pm to 2:30 am shift. It was beginning to take a toll on my sanity and family life. So when this new project came along and they wanted me, I jumped at the opportunity. No more Management work. Its not that I dislike Management work but I think I love technical stuff more. I think it is an area where I can probably add value. Sadly, as the project is currently confidential, I am unable to share too much (you never know who is reading this!) but when I can, I guarantee I will.

With this new job, I have found more time to spend with the family. Mrs Premster and I now can have dinners together and spend time with the Devster, something which I have failed at since his birth. I think for the last year or so, he probably knows me as the guy who comes out of the room at about 2 pm, goes to his computer to do work and then is out of the house by 4:30 pm. On certain days, its out the door by 2 pm! He doesn't get to see me come home in the wee hours of the morning so me popping out of my room every afternoon probably reminds him of his jack-in-the-box. These days, we get to go for short evening walks. They're short walks because his legs are short! I noticed for every step that I take, he has to take three or four to keep up. So before long, he tires out and asks to be carried.

I've discovered that Dev has a new obsession (aside from TV and gadgets like his old man) - the lift / elevator in our block! You should see the glee on his face when he stands in front of it anticipating the opening of the doors. And when he's out after the ride is over, he looks back longingly till the lift goes off to serve other residents. Some days, its hard to get him to leave the lift lobby. If he had his way, he'd be riding the lift up and down all day.

2007 will be gone in about 24 hours. I feel kind of sad because it has been a good year generally. And with me, good years are sometimes hard to come by. I made some new year resolutions at the start of 2007 and sadly, they were not all fulfilled. There are three main ones. First off, I decided that in 2007, I was going to cut back on my spending on gadgets. This was an utter failure - considering I am writing this entry on a brand new Apple Macbook which was purchased about a month ago. Aside from this, my other major purchases over the year include a Apple TV (streams video, music and pictures from PC directly to a high-definition TV wirelessly), my trusty Nokia E90 Communicator, a top-notched sound system in my car and I built a home theatre in our study room complete with a LCD projector, Bose 5.1 speaker system and a movie screen. It took our contractor 1 1/2 days to put the entire thing together! The sad thing is, we've not had the time to use it since we got it set up.

Secondly, I planned to read more. I started off the year buying some books, mainly biographies of famous people like Bill Clinton and Steve Wozniak. I went through them and as the momentum caught on, I bought more like For One More Day (Mitch Albom), The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari (Robin Sharma), The God Delusion (Richard Dawkins) and Jeremy Clarkson's (from Top Gear) And Another Thing. So far, I've managed to crack Jeremy's book on his light-hearted take on life. I'm a long way from being done so I guess the rest of the unread books will be for 2008.

And lastly, I promised myself to get into shape. I started off the year with walking / jogging about 4 km every two to three days. I was hoping that by the end of 2007, I'd have biceps that Arnold Schwarzer-whats-his-face would be envious of and a six pack where my belly used to be. Regretfully by April, this had tapered down to 0 km per week and my belly is still intact, getting more and more 'prosperous' as the days go by.

Speaking of an ample belly, Eddie has been getting chunkier and chunkier by the day. The previously hyper-active, lean, mean ball-catching machine has now become pudgy and sluggish. The vet told us that is is probably because of his sterilization sometime in August. So, it looks like Eddie and his pal (The Premster) need to get out and exercise. With this new work arrangement, I think there is a good possibility. Of course, I have slated this to be my new year resolution again. Recycling! Isn't it great?

I will always remember 2007 as the year we celebrated my only son's first birthday! Looking back, the experience was surreal, to say the least. It still is, actually. Considering the many failed relationships I've had over the years, I never expected to find a lovely woman and settle down, let alone have a little boy of my own. Sometimes during conversations with friends, a strange yet warm feeling overcomes me when I say "my son". I hope that warm feeling never diminishes.

2007 also was sad for me because I found that I was betrayed by people I loved the most - my family. It is a terrible feeling to have someone you love and trust betray you and while I still think of them fondly, I have distanced myself from them for the sake of my wife, my son and my sanity. Being alone without parents to fall back on for support, the need to protect my own family from harm has become paramount. I am sure they will never understand my point of view, especially when they love steering away from the truth when confronted with it.

The most painful thing about 2007 was the fact that I discovered that my father, a man that I deeply respected, cared for and loved had also hung me out to dry. Recent events and findings have painfully proven this. This has saddened me in the most profound of ways especially when I believed my father, of all people, would not do anything to hurt me. I do not wish to desecrate his memory in any way so I won't go into any details. But I try to console myself with the fact that he didn't realise the consequence of his actions and was not given enough time on earth to rectify the wrong. Anyway, it is something I will now have to bear on his behalf and I hope to find the strength to move on with it.

Some time ago, I mentioned that I was heading back to running my father's business. So far, six months have passed and this has also been taking up a lot of my time. Sometime in October, my wife and I injected a great deal of funds to the company to give it a much needed makeover. I hope this will pay off in 2008. During my stint doing the night shift, I had time during the day to go down to the office to check on things. These days with my new regular working hours, I meet with the Manager once or twice a week in the evenings to check on the progress at the company, to sign cheques and letters, etc. All other matters are sorted out via phone and emails. So, my new Apple Macbook has been working overtime since it came to live with me. Anyway, I hope to give you a good 'financial' report by the end of 2008. Wish me luck, ya?

A couple of hours ago, I watched Evan Almighty on my iPod Touch just after taking a Sunday afternoon nap. In the movie, "God" (played by Morgan Freeman) tells Evan's wife (played by Lauren Graham of Gilmore Girls fame) "If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?" These words brought tears to my eyes - something I rarely do when watching movies - because this is so true. The last few years, I had hoped for more time with my family and frequently prayed for it. And after relentless "requests", the new job opening came about three weeks ago and today, I have more time with my family. I guess when you pray hard enough, a door is presented to you. You either knock and go in or you walk away. In the end, God helps with an opportunity. It is still up to you to make the best of it.

So as 2007 draws to a close and as I embark into 2008, I pray for....

• The opportunity to guide my son intellectually and spiritually
• The opportunity to protect my family and home
• The opportunity to build and excel in my career
• The opportunity to ensure the good health of my wife and little boy
• The opportunity to be a better husband and a better father

And if it is not too much to ask, I'd also love the opportunity to own a Lexus IS250. *wink*

Here's wishing all of you - Ghasheema, Eshda3wa, Dandoon, Princess, Vanessa, Pigmite and Phoenix a very Happy and Peaceful 2008.