Trust Betrayed

Look up the word "betrayal" in the dictionary and you'd get definitions like "exhibition of disloyalty"and "the act of violating trust". If you've ever been on the receiving end of betrayal, you'll know that it leaves a bad taste in your mouth and a sick feeling in your stomach.

About two month ago, I was betrayed... by someone I loved and trusted all my life. As a very young boy, I watched this young and elegant lady step into the corporate world for the first time. At that time, I was filled with a strange feeling which I now recognise as pride. Soon after, I watched her get married and eventually had children of her own - whom I became very attached to. She fussed over me all the time, buying me comics, books and toys whenever she felt like it - which was often - till her children came along. She prayed hard by my Mother's side when doctors gave up all hope on me due to a medical condition at the age of 12. When my mother died, she promised she'd look after me at all cost. And when my son was born, she declared that she was his Grandma in my mother's 'absence'. For all that she had done, I would have laid down my life for her at a moment's notice - if it ever came to that.

How does one come to terms with being betrayed by someone like that?

During her difficult times, she came to me and cried on my shoulders. When her brother and his wife were (frequently) cruel and verbally hurtful towards her, she came to me to pour her woes and depended on me to take her side. Through it all, I defended her - like a son would defend his mother. Now, when I needed her to understand my perspective regarding a situation with truth and facts to corroborate, she turns a deaf ear and says she "wants to remain neutral". What is most hurtful is that this "situation" is what caused her and the rest of my family years of unhappiness, discourse and grief.

Although she no longer comes to me to lament since the confrontation, she still does to my wife. So even though she wants us to respect her wishes to "remain neutral", she still wants a listening ear for her problems. My wife, who was her biggest 'fan' when I first introdued them, is now deeply disillusioned.

My trust and faith in family, relationships and humanity has been dwindling over the years. But this turn of events has accelerated things drastically. How do you have faith in another human being after you come face to face with such a betrayal?

The damage done to my belief system is beyond repair. The same goes for my relationship with her. But what I find most sad is that my wife and I now have to instill in our little boy that life is paved with disappointments and betrayals - even from friends and relatives he may believe will be there for him. And as I watch the innocent fella laugh, play and sleep, I worry about how much it will scar him when he has to face the reality of betrayal for the first time. How I wish we could shield him forever.

Nevertheless, although I am still trying hard to get the proverbial bad taste out of my mouth, I am at peace with my conscience. I only hope she can find peace with her's.