Who Is The Premster?

Guess who's back?

A Breath Of Fresh Air

First off, don't ask me why I scour the Internet to find such weird stuff. Truth is, these "interesting" nuggets find me.

And why am I sharing this interesting piece of news with you? To give you hope - hope that there will soon be reprieve from people who silently, with a squeek or just indiscriminate reverberating bass, invade your odourless breathing space with their gaseous exhaust that travel from their rear to your nostril by diffusion at what would seem like the speed of light.

Hence, this thoughtful concept will benefit those who blatently indulge in public "production" as well as poor unwitting "consumers". Who do you have to thank for this? Well, they're Brian and Myra Conant. They even have a patent pending. So, how does it work, you ask?

Essentially, a non-intrusive cloth pad - made from Active Charcoal - is worn inside the undergarment and positioned in the appropriate area (that's Blow-Off Valve, in automotive terms). Active Charcoal (versus Passive Charcoal?) is ideal for absorbing and containing such emissions so that a breath of fresh air can be had by all - even after a heavy helping of chilli, onions and baked beans.

Of course, one could get creative and turn this into a mask - as a 'gift' to some foul-mouthed friend, relative or co-worker to make a point - although it regretfully will not have the same desired effect.

In the end, consideration for your fellow earth inhabitants is of utmost importance. With that, I leave you with words of wisdom about belching by Tina Miller of the TV sitcom Still Standing - Better out the front door than out the back.

Have a good weekend, all!

PS. This concept is not exactly new. The Premster (its fun referring to yourself in the third person) posted about a similar product last year!

Average Joe

If you're ever in Australia and are suddenly craving a juicy Whopper, you're going to thank your lucky stars you've been following The Premster's blog.

Did you know that there isn't a "Burger King" in all of Australia? I jest not. Apparently, when Burger King wanted to expand its operations into Australia, they found that they were unable to register the name "Burger King" because there was already a small food outlet by that name and was trademarked. So, only in Australia, you'll have to seek out "Hungry Jack's" if you want to sink your teeth into a flame-broiled Whopper.

And if you're in Malaysia and you need a cup of joe? Check out their version of Starbucks.


Received this via email. Not sure who to credit this picture to but I thought I'd share it with you guys anyway.

Have a good one!

The Story Of Edwina

Sometime last week as I was making my way home after parking my car at about 3 am, I was stunned to see the usually dimly lighted playground that is exactly opposite our apartment all lit up in colours. Half alseep from being tired after work, I wracked my brain trying to figure out a reason for the "light up". No festivals or holidays came to mind. Then, my eyes started to focus... and the words "EDWINA" with a red heart at the end became clear.

Here's a shot taken from our apartment's kitchen window by Mrs Premster, who was tickled at the gesture of the young man who was hard at work putting the finishing touches to his masterpiece, made out of cyalume sticks, for a special girl named Edwina who apparently lives in our apartment block too.

"A proposal!", my dear romantic wife declared. "Lets hope so", I replied. "It'll be interesting if Edwina shows up from her late night out with another guy in tow", the pessimist in me continued.

So, from 3 am onwards, we stayed up in our apartment with this young man on the playground hoping to catch fireworks from the romantic gesture. By 6 am, no fireworks, no Edwina. Our domestic helper emerged from her room to ask if we had seen the set-up. She too had been following the saga from her window, which faced the same direction!

My wife and I had to leave home at about 7 am and as we stepped out of the house, we caught a clearer glimpse of the young man clad in a white t-shirt, white shorts and a white hat fumbling with his mobile phone desperately trying to call someone repeatedly. "Looks like Edwina was a no show. Not a proposal but what appears to be an apology and a desperate attempt to win his dear Edwina back", I told the Mrs, the pessimist in me gloating from being right.

As the young man's hopes diminished, so did the glow of his cyalume sticks, unable to keep up with the bright rays of the rising sun. Edwina was not to be. I made my own declaration of love to my wife. "If the cyalume sticks were still there and illuminated tonight, I'd re-arrange them to spell your name".

What can I say, I can be quite the romantic myself.

Tagged! - I'm It

I got tagged discretely by the effervescent Ghasheema. So here goes. First, the rules....

The system:

In the 8 facts about [name], you share 8 things that your readers don’t know about you. At the end, you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going. Each blogger must post these rules first. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. At the end of the post, a blogger needs to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog...

1. I had a lot of lofty ambitions growing up. I wanted to be Six Million Dollar Man, Starsky, Man From Atlantis, BJ, Rick Hunter and just before common sense hit me, Michael Knight. Trust me when I say my parents were very worried when I talked excitedly about driving big red rigs and black talking cars.

2. When I am contemplating getting a new gadget / device, I tend to lose a lot of sleep. I only get restful sleep once it has been purchased. Obsessive? Nope. Just passionate.

3. I love the idea of living on a beach or near the ocean. I love the view of the sea and to be able to just come out of my home to see and smell the sea is like heaven on earth. Fortunately me, I do live near water. There is a huge drain not too far away.

4. I must absolutely sleep with a bolster. No bolster, no sleep. Take away my bolster and then put the idea of buying a new gadget in my head and I will be a total wreck.

5. If there is something on my plate I don't really enjoy, I usually force that down my throat first. Then, I enjoy the rest peacefully. My wife thinks I am a true vegetable lover.

6. I absolutely love watches and have quite a number. When I was a little boy, I could never convince my Dad to get me those fancy watches I saw in magazines. So, I'd cut out the watch face from the advertisement, stick it to a long strip of paper and wear it around my wrist, securing the "watch strap" with paper-clip. I would wear it on every outing and family events. After a few days, my Dad would buy it for me. I guess he wanted to reward me for my ingenuity.

7. I believe that we are all living in the Matrix. I am waiting to be offered the red pill only. The blue pill is synonymous with erectile dysfunction.

8. I absolutely hate drawers or cupboards that are left open or ajar. Even chairs at the dining table that are not pushed back after use irks the living daylights out of me. Drawers and cupboards must remain closed fully - period.

I really don't have 8 bloggers to tag. So.... eenie... meenie.... minee.... Phoenix, Eshda3wa and The Princess.

Time Out

I'm confused.

Isn't it a sign of love when you give a cute, soft and cuddly teddy bear to a loved one or a child?

My wife and I have been doing some online shopping over the last few days for our little boy, who will be turning one in a few weeks. So far, we've blown quite a tidy sum on a dedicated play area (two of them, to be exact) for him. This will officially turn our so-called "designer" home into what would resemble the kiddy area in your local McDonald's outlet. While the play area will keep him protected from our doggies (they love licking him!) and other possible hazards, it'll also protect my expensive (by my meagre financial standards) hi-fi / home theatre setup from a very curious little boy who simply adores buttons and lights. Oops... side-tracked.

One of my searches turned up this little teddy bear with what looks like a kitchen timer stuffed into his tummy. With that, the Time Out Bear is born. When your little one misbehaves, you can "set" a time-out for him or her on the bear's timer. To futher enhance punishment / humiliation, the smile on the bear's face looks like he's mocking your little one.

Aside from this, I can think of other practical purposes. You can have one in the kitchen as a decorative item that can double up as a timer for cooking / baking.

And if you're severely attention deprived, turn the dial and carry it through any airport security station. I guarantee you'll be the talk of the town.

For all it can do, it's a steal at US$19.98.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Hero In China

Growing up, among the many ambitions I had, I wanted to be a super hero. I constantly wished that I had some hidden power that would suddenly be unleashed by a knock on the head or something less dramatic as over-exposure to GSM radiation from excessive mobile phone usage. So, Superman, Spiderman, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Flash, The Man From Atlantis and Wonder Woman were among those I revered.

Ok, I admired Wonder Woman for very different reasons. *wink*

So, you can probably imagine my facination when the TV show Heroes came along. For the uninitiated, it is about regular people who suddenly find that they have super-human abilities and are forced to live and cope with their "gift". And since then, when no one is looking, I've been trying to see if there's another "me" in the mirror, watch paper cuts heal (they just clot!), walk through walls (that explains the headaches) and concentrate on clocks to see if I can get the second hand to go backwards.

It almost worked on the clock we have in our bathroom a few days back. As I was staring at it, the second hand suddenly stopped! I almost shouted "Yatta!" - thats "I did it", in Japanese! But alas, it turned out that clock's battery coincidently ran out. *sigh*

While I'll never be a Hero like my favourite character, Hiro Nakamura (see picture), there is man in China who apparently pumps 220 volts of electricity into himself - purely for exercise. He's known to be able light lightbulbs and cook fish in under two minutes while "plugged in".

Known as the Electric Man, Mr Zhang Deke, 71, uses his power (pun intended) only for good. After he's charged up, he can apparently heal people suffering from rheumatism and arthritis.

Don't rush off to China, Dr Mohinder Suresh, the guys at Spluch already found him.

Spousal Approval

When husbands in Singapore want to spend good money on stuff wives have no interest in (eg. gadgets, gizmos and stuff not found in kitchens), the cliché phrases heard are "I'll need to seek approval from my Commanding Officer" or "My Financial Controller will have to ok it first".

I am blessed cos my wife doesn't make things difficult for me when I decide to blow hard-earned money on yet another smartphone, audio device or a gadget for my car. That definitely explains the drawer filled with the latest tech stuff. But despite the fact that she doesn't object, I consult her before I buy anything. She's very level-headed and always has constructive suggestions.

But occassionally, I get the uncomfortable "ok" or "up to you". Its her loving way of saying "it'll eventually go to waste but I don't want you to be unhappy". The tone in her voice is unmistakable and I always tease her about it.

Because of this, I laughed my head off when I saw the following "For Sale" ad on the Internet!

The "Ladoo" Shop

For all ya home boys (and home gals?) out there who like kickin' it with 50 cent (that's read "fitty cent" - yeah, get it right if ya wanna hang with The Premsta!), here's a video made by a couple of bruthas out there.

Check it out, dudes and dudettes....



Word...

Calculatingly Funny

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide ruleand a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say,'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

His Heart Will Go On (Hopefully)

Here's the deal. This young man, after going on a first date, had fallen head over heels for the young lady. And as a sign of his affection, he made this video for her.

Watch (and be severely irked) at your own risk.

Love does make a man do silly things but this fella definitely takes the cake.

Wonder how the damsel of his desire reacted. My guess would be to relocate, beg to be on the witness protection programme and... upload the video on YouTube for the world to see.

Spellbound

In case you were wondering, I am not dyslexic. Just thought you might like to try this. Read on...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs.

The guys down at Cambridge University are really free, aren't they? ;)

Have a good weekend, everyone!