My Letter To Mum

Dear Mum,

Eleven years ago today, you left us and this world behind to be in a place where there is peace forever. While you found peace, you left us in a state of shock, turmoil and utter disbelief. You were in hospital may times for far more serious issues but you always walked out unscathed. So, no expected that you'll leave us - and at such a young age at that.

You were admitted to hospital because of a reaction to your medication and when I left you the same evening to run errands, you said you were feeling ok. But when I got back an hour later, they said you had a seizure. Things went downhill from there. The seizure left you with the inability to speak coherently and the recognition of some people. I remember when you were in critical care, someone asked me to get you a drink. I came back with it and when I tried to give it to you, you refused it and stared at me in fear - not knowing who I was. I left the drink in the hands of Dad, who you took from with a smile. I looked on and eventually left the room bravely but cried profusely as soon as I stepped out. "How can a mother not recognise her son?", I implored God. A day later, I guess you decided to be fair to all and slipped into a coma. You now acknowledged no one.

We've never had the best of relationships. There were many things where we did not see eye to eye. Heated quarrels ensued from simple disagreements. Periods of silence clouded these days. But it was always one thing that broke the "cold war"... our love for laughing. Although angry, one of us would see or hear something odd or funny and an unknown reflex would make us turn towards each other. This, of course, is followed by a stomach-cramping laugh. I guess we both had stupid looks on our faces.

Our love for food was another of our weaknesses. This was also the reason why your health failed. We always shared a good meal and sometimes, it'd seemed like we'd go to the ends of the earth to get it. Do you know that I still patronize the fried noodle stall that you used to take me to when I was a little boy? The stall owner, now old and greying, still remembers you fondly.

So much has happened since you've left Dad and me. I know you've been watching over us all these years so I don't need to tell you how we've struggled to get to where we are and the obstacles we've faced. And when you saw how Dad was suffering from his spine surgery, his stroke and how his body was turning against him, you invited him to share the peace that you've enjoyed all these years.

The years on without Dad and you will be even tougher on me. But I am comforted in the belief that both of you are together where no illness or suffering will befall either of you. Wherever you and Dad are or whatever you do, do think of me from time to time and make sure I am on the right path in life always. Like every human being, I am not free from faults but in whatever I do, I wish for the both of you to be proud of me always.

Rest in peace, Mum. Please give my love to Dad too, ya?

Your loving son,

Prem