No Turning Back
Its been almost a month since I've come by to deposit my thoughts and considering I have a little time and sanity today, I thought I'd dust off the ol' keyboard and offload some of the things that have been bugging me.
I always thought I made good decisions in life. Be it something as trivial as buying the next amazing tech gadget or something as life altering as a career move. Lately, I've come to doubt myself in making these decisions.
For example, when I was 24 and just graduated with a Diploma in Electronics and Computer Engineering, I had a choice of one of two paths. The first was one that I dreamed of walking down and being on for the rest of my life - being a radio presenter / deejay. I had the voice (back then, of course), the knowledge and love for music and the lack of fear of the hundreds of buttons, slide controls and flashing lights in a studio. The other, a less glamorous life of being a Computer Engineer.
I grit my teeth and chose the latter for a couple of reasons, mainly because of my father's advice to his playful only son. He said "If you're as good a deejay as you say you are, you can always return to it at any time. But if you leave Engineering now after just graduating, you will find it difficult to get back into it." With all the technical advancements happening around us so quickly, his words were spot on.
Although I don't regret my decision even though I wish I were more excited about my work, lately I've been asking myself "What if I had chosen to join the radio station?" Fame? Riches? Get booted off the air for saying something inappropriate? I don't know and never will. Why? Even if I chose to leave Engineering for good and head back into the deejaying arena, no one in their right frame of mind will employ a pudgy and balding 37 year old jock who's voice is starting to sound a little raspy.
My point is, we often come to a crossroad in life and any of the paths we chose to take is most frequently not paved with U-turn signs. So, when we embark down that road and find that it is not really suited for us, there's no turning back.
Why the topic? I have been re-evaluating my choices in life and wonder if I've made mistakes along the way. Sadly, a lot of these have ended up with "yes" answers and there's no turning back now. I'll share more of these in upcoming posts.
As I always say when I reappear after vanishing for awhile, The Premster is back. But the outlook is gloomy.
2 comments:
your father was right :)
even though u dislike ur job...its a stable career..
I dont know why u think its too late to be a deejay....u can take a weekend job...and thats very common for deejays
you are a smart person...so if u put ur mind to it...u will do it...one way or another :)
we all make wrong decisions....but its degree of "wrong" that tells us if we should do something about it or not....cuz sometimes..doing something to fix the wrong...can create more chaos in our lives
you dont know how many times did i think to myself if I did the right decision or not...and I thought that about crucial matters in my life...and in the end...I weight the good and the wrong...and think 10 yrs from now...which ever seems to be the winner in 10 yrs, I go with it....even if it bothers me alot now!!
you should come here often to empty ur load....its healthy :)
hi ghasheema,
as always, it is a pleasure to hear from you!
my father was definitely right... but there's always the "what ifs". i don't hate my job but i embarked on something which was my second choice, not first. maybe it was the responsible thing to do but i sometimes wonder if i had taken the other path, would i have been happier.
what i talked about is just the tip of the iceberg. there are so many things.
as for deejaying, i know i'm no longer up for it. maybe the nerves i had when i was younger has now gone. maybe i no longer have that kind of energy. maybe i'm afraid of shooting my mouth off on air. in the end, that confidence i used to have is no longer there. this is aside from the fact that the radio world (here, at least) is for the young and vibrant.
thanks for your comforting words, ghasheema. i'm blessed to have a friend like you.
Post a Comment