Ditched The Tech, Survived The Day

Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a round of applause for The Premster. Together with the geeks of the world, I went a whole day without my PC and trusty gadgets yesterday, as promised, and survived. It was tough but I made it.

I started the day turning off my Treo smartphone, a device that follows me around like a life-support machine. It was extremely excruciating and as my smartphone's screen faded off, it beeped as though to ask "Why Prem, why?" My SIM card was transferred to a Motorola Razr V3, a phone (see picture) that was to be my companion for the day. For those of you screaming "That phone is pretty high-tech!", trust me when I tell you that I need features far more than what the V3 could ever provide. To add further difficulty to the experiment, I disabled the bluetooth function on the phone, meaning no hands free answering of calls. My second phone was also left at home and I did not come within 3 meters of a computer, let alone power one up.

The first "casualty" of the day? My wife! We were out shopping for a new car seat for our son and we got lost. She promptly said "You can use your phone to connect to the Internet and get the store's number online". "Nope", came my answer, "Not on this phone!". We had a good laugh.

So there, I made it through Shutdown Day a little bruised technically, stressed mentally but I survived. Take it from me, I am never going to do it again. Ever.

I hope you had a good weekend!

Wear And Tear

Warning : Depressing entry alert! Read at your own risk.

I'm tired. Not just physically but mentally too. "Your son keeping you awake?", is the constant response to the look of wear on my face. Hardly, considering he is one of only two people who can make me smile these days. My dear wife is the other.

In December, my wife was stiffed of almost $300 in terms of ourstanding utility bills by a previous tenant who stayed at our apartment before we moved in there ourselves. My wife, who trusted this lady throughout the tenancy, was shocked that not only did she not want to pay what was owed, she threatened legal action against my wife claiming the cost of furniture she had abandoned at our apartment after the tenancy expired. Always believing in the kindness and decency of human beings, my wife was in tears as a result of the tenant's harsh reaction. This angered me and I embarked on giving this woman a taste of her own medicine. After nights of reading, analysing contracts, going through files and collating evidence, I embarked on my threat of legal action against her, with the amassed documents as evidence, in the event she does not pay what was owed to my wife immediately. A vicious tigress was reduced to a clawless pussycat and a cheque together with a letter of apology was couriered to our apartment a few days later. Although I cherished the success, the entire episode took quite a chunk out of my energy reserve.

A couple of months ago, I fought very hard for a relative of mine to get his employment permit renewed after it was rejected based on stipulated regulations. It took me a few days and nights to study policies, lock horns with Government authorities and cough up supporting facts to prop up a very weak application. Subsequently, it was approved on principle. In the end, while my relative walked away happily with his employment permit intact, I doubt he'll ever know, understand or appreciate how much of a toll it took on me. I promise to share why in a later post.

Just a couple of days ago, I received a response from another Government authority that Casey's change of address application was rejected on grounds that our apartment was allowed only one dog. This, after being upfront with them about our two dogs before we moved in. Again, I spent days and nights fighting with the housing as well as animal licensing authorities. The issue is still pending.

Work is no picnic either. I am constantly having to deal with my surbordinates' poor work attitude as well as their attitude towards their supervisor - me. Although it is part of my "job description", being disliked by others is not a nice feeling.

It seems like I am at constant loggerheads with someone about something all the time. And while I have been successful in getting "my way" some of the time, it worries me that when it is time to fight about the matters that mean the most to me, I will be out of steam.

Casey's situation is one that concerns me a great deal. But having been through so many "battles", I am drained. I wish I had the same energy and spunk to fight for my dog but reading back the numerous emails I've written to the authorities over the last two days, it just comes off sounding extremely lame. I even found one with the wrong date and broken sentences!

Even though I have yet to receive a response from the authorities, I fear a negative reply in the horizon. There is no way I will allow the authorities to force me to give up my dog but I am worried that I am not up for a good fight. Casey fate - remaining a member of our family - is in my very weak hands.

I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting these battles over and over again. I'm tired of my mind constantly replaying different situations and how I should respond to them. I'm tired of checking my emails every hour filled with anxiety over what I might find. I'm tired of dealing with problematic co-workers and their attitude. I'm tired of people, relatives or otherwise, taking advantage of my family and me. Most importantly, I'm tired of feeling this way.

I just wish the world would stop turning for ten minutes so that my mind can rest and I can catch my breath again.

Contentment And Fulfillment

It recently came up in a discussion that I appear to be a person who is not content with what he has and constantly wants something better all the time. Ok, maybe not in so many words but this is the gist of it.

This revelation has been bothering me for a few days because it is not a quality I like to be remembered for. But no one is to be blamed for the opinion except myself, considering my barrage of mobile devices, computers, audio systems as well as my constant hankering for a better automobile.

In my pursuit of surrounding myself with the best possible technology that is within my means, has my character paid the ultimate price (no pun intended) by being deemed a person who is insatiable?

So, I sought the advice of a higher authority - the Internet - hoping to redeem what little reputation I had left. I came across this quote - "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realisation of how much you have". Touché.

The fact of the matter is, I not only realise but also appreciate what I have been blessed with in life. Perhaps, 'appreciate' might be too mild a description. 'Grateful' is hitting the nail on the head. Why? Because while people notice what I acquire, not many know how much I've lost / sacrificed during my lifetime. So every acquisition is deeply treasured.

That aside, can one truly be content with what he has and live the rest of his life without improvement? Say you're a shoe person. Is it possible to be content with the five pairs that you own and never want another for the rest of your life, unless you're replacing a broken pair that is beyond economical repair? Well, there are those that can pull it off. Truthfully, I can't. And it is not because I am unappreciative of what I have.

It all boils down to two things for me. Firstly, passion. People are passionate about a lot of things. Some like shoes, some like good clothes, some enjoy collecting watches and some would go to the ends of the earth for good food. The problem with me? I am passionate about a lot of things - watches, cars, CDs, gadgets, sound systems and computers. Unfortunately, this is not an exhausive list. These are not obtained for flash or bragging rights. For me, its the joy of discovery - the learning and understanding of new technologies. It is excitement of building something from scratch or the thrill of integrating something new with something already owned. It is the exhilaration I feel when I've stumbled upon something possible when I thought it was impossible.

Secondly, it is the fulfillment of a goal - something that you want for yourself or someone else. Having a goal or a dream in life gives you a reason to wake up in the morning, haul yourself to work and grit your teeth through unreasonable bosses and ridiculous deadlines. If I fulfill my goal, what I want will not only serve as a new learning opportunity but a trophy. Just imagine if you woke up one day and realised that you're content with everything you have. Would you still have the motivation to drag yourself to the office?

My son is growing very quickly. As he grows, I wish to give him the best of everything within my means and when he is of school-going age, I wish provide him with the best possible education. And even though my earlier post joked about him going to med school, I would do everything within my ability to ensure that he gets there should he actually wish to pursue this. This, too, is a goal. And if he said he wanted to pursue higher education after obtaining a medical degree, would I be a good father if I told him "A Medical Degree is enough, son."?

So, I've a quote of my own - "Realising what you have is being grateful, fulfillment of what you want is contentment".

Perhaps my opinion of contentment and fulfillment may appear base or even materialistic to some, but this is how I view life.

Even so, maybe it is time for a self re-evaluation.

The Holey "Grail"

I have a friend who manages a team of people at work. Even though I know him as a friendly, responsible and very likeable person, his constant gripe is "The guys don't like me". I guess it is impossible to be popular when you're stuck toeing the company line. I can relate because I have a team of Engineers under my charge too.

During one of our chit-chat (its closer to whining) sessions, he jokingly said "I can just imagine everyone passing my coffee mug around, taking turns to pee in it when I'm not around". Although I laughed heartily at the joke, I started to worry about my own coffee mug parked in plain view on my desk. Since then, it has been a prisoner in my desk drawer only to see the light of day when I need a caffeine fix.

Enter the anti-theft mug from Israel. As you can see from the picture, all you need to disable this mug from unauthorised (or pee) use is to remove the key-lock plug and any liquid poured into it without the key will come flowing out instantly.

Absolute genius!

Welcome The Unwelcomed

My wife and I have a "visitor" to our home at least two Sundays in a month. He shows up unannounced and it doesn't matter if we already have guests or were planning to catch up on a TV series we've recorded during the busy work-week. He'll just sit there till we're done, which can be very uncomfortable. So, we shelve what we wanted to do just to keep him entertained.

About two months ago, my wife had an old classmate over for lunch. She brought her two young boys (who were excited about meeting Eddie and Casey) as well as her husband, who was an absolute pleasure to chat with. Then, about an hour into what was a delightful afternoon, the knock on the door came. Our usual "visitor" came in and plonked himself down on the sofa. I think he made our friends uncomfortable and they "decided" it was time for them to go.

No matter how hard we've tried to tell him without hurting his feelings, he hasn't got the message.

As such, I found it impossible to contain my excitement when I found this welcome (or otherwise) mat. Turn it one way and it bids a warm "Come In". For the unwelcomed, flip it around and it bluntly says "Go Away". Vist this aptly named website for more details.

Since subtlety has not worked, I think purchasing one would be classified as an investment. I am sure my wife would agree. Still, I worry he'll be none the wiser. *sigh*

Ode To My Rides

To all the cars I've owned before

That travelled in and out my garage doors

I'm glad I drove them all

I dedicate this song

To all the cars I've owned before

1987 Honda Integra : Owned 1987 - 1997

1990 Mazda Astina : Owned 1997 - 1999

1990 Honda CRX : Owned 1997 - 1997

1982 Honda Accord : Owned 1999 - 2001

1991 Nissan Sunny : Owned 2001 - 2003

and...

2003 Subaru Impreza : Owned 2003 - Present

I've been thinking a lot about car ownership lately. The thing is, I turn 38 in about 6 months time and it dawned upon me that I don't have much time left to own all the cars I'd love to own. Add to the fact that the cost of car ownership in Singapore is ridiculous, it seems like by the time I can actually afford to own my next car (read: Mitsubishi Evolution), I might just be too old to drive it.

All things considered, I will have to think very carefully before I purchase my next car. It has to be something I really want (not a compromise) but most importantly, I must be able to afford it. I do have my little boy to think about. He's going to med school, you know. That's the only way I'm ever going to get my final car - a Porsche 911 - as a father's day present. *wink*

No pressure at all, son. No pressure at all....

So, it looks like my Subaru Impreza and I will remain united for a long time to come. Fortunately for me, I love "her" very much!

PS. The pictures above are not pictures of my actual cars. They depict the models that I've owned.

Numbers And The Nanny

About two months ago, I blogged about our domestic helper from the Philippines. She was the Super Nanny we had hoped for when we were "maid hunting" just before our son was born. She was not perfect but we felt she was alright in comparison to the horror stories we've heard.

It turns out that she is even more "super" than I had given her credit for. Through my wife, I found out that she frequently gets dreams about numbers (not the TV show) back when she was in the Philippines and when she betted on them through their local lottery, she'd win. I guess her winnings weren't sufficient - for her to be here working as a domestic helper.

Anyway, it appears that she is getting these nocturnal numeric visions again. This morning, as a result of my insomnia for over a month, I was at my computer and my wife came in to enquire about playing the lottery in Singapore. I shared what little I knew about it but thought it was odd for my wife to be enquiring about gambling. It was only after probing that I found out my son's care-giver wanted my wife to place a bet on some numbers she dreamt of.

I was annoyed and I shared my displeasure with (more like unloaded on) my wife when she called me this evening to ask if she could still make it for today's lottery draw. The lack of sleep didn't help, of course. What really angered me was just a couple of weeks ago, our domestic helper had asked for the coming month's salary in advance because her family was in "dire need". Now, she is gambling with it? It is a small bet no doubt but wouldn't every dollar go a long way when you're in "dire need", especially considering the currency conversion?

If lady-luck is shining upon her, she'd take her winnings and go back to the Philippines and live like a queen, leaving my wife, my son and I in the lurch. From this, I know that in spite of our care and concern for her well-being, she's the least bothered about us or my son, who appears to be relatively attached to her. Her apparent heartfelt promises of wanting to fulfill her 2-year contract faithfully when we interviewed her will be tossed aside without a care, like the diapers she helps change daily. After all, she will then be much richer than her employer!

I told my wife "Its like she asked you to go buy a gun for her. You buy it, bring it home to her and she shoots you with it."

How would she feel if we struck the jackpot and told her we no longer needed her services now that we can afford to send our son to a top-notch exclusive day-care centre - especially at a time when her family was severe financial need?

In the end, no matter how much she claims she adores our little boy or how much she says she loves playing and laughing with him, it is just a means to an end - a job. There really isn't any genuine affection for the little fella.

Maybe I'm just too naive but I expected more from someone who was caring for our son.

Black Beauty

Back in 1997, I bought my first car. We've always had a family car and as the description implies, I got to drive it only when no one else was using it. So, this was the FIRST car I've owned. It was a 1990 Honda CRX. I saw the car when it first reached our shores and I fell head over heels in love with it immediately. Back then, I had just been enlisted in the armed forces to perform my "tour of duty". So, I promised myself that when I started working and could afford to own one, I'd buy it. And I did.

Of course, it was already 7 years old when I signed on the dotted line and brought my dream car back home. It was jet black, had a sun-roof (I love sun-roofs) and could go 0 to 100 km/h in well under 7 seconds. It was fast and definitely furious. However, the condition of the car was not great and I made it my personal mission to restore the car to its original glory. Even though I was drawing a small salary since I only had worked for a couple of years just after graduation, I spent every cent I had on it. New exhaust system, new interior trims, new tyres and rims, new all-leather sports steering and a mind (and ear-drums) blowing sound system. It was my pride and joy. Even when it was not driven, seeing it parked at my apartment's carpark from my room window would put a smile on my face.

For me, it was not about owning a flashy car. It was the joy it brought me during a relatively difficult time in my life. After spending so much money on it, there wasn't enough left to take it out to paint the town red on a Saturday night - or any other night for that matter. So, I took it for long drives on all the major expressways in Singapore almost every Saturday - like a date. With cool tunes loaded into the CD changer, my car and I would cruise down the highways - occasionally crossing the speed limits, which was a piece of cake for a CRX. Whatever problems I had on my mind would vanish as I enjoyed the breeze through the open windows and sun-roof and music by The Eagles, Candy Dulfer and Chicago - just to name a few. By the time I got home, my problems did not seem so significant anymore.

I swore that I'd keep and treasure my car forever. However, my dream car and I parted sooner than I had expected - after only 7 months. My father had some financial problems which he kept quiet about, not wanting to burden me, but eventually became to difficult for him. So, to help him out, I sold my black beauty, my dream car, my friend. My father knew how much the car meant to me and it saddened him deeply that I let it go. I still remember the pain I felt as I watched the new owner drive my pride and joy away. Standing on the side of the road watching the car disappear into the distance, a grown man of 26 years fought a futile battle to hold back the tears.

Why rehash old memories now, you ask? Well, I found the exact same model (same colour, same modifications) on sale on one of the local online car marts. I am not sure if it was the same car I had sold about 10 years ago. The thing is, there aren't many of this model on the roads anymore. As such, I have been eyeing it since February when it was listed. Sadly, I logged in on Monday to find that it had been sold. Even though there was no real intention to acquire it as a second car, the same pain I felt when I watched my CRX drive off almost a decade ago came rushing back. Again, I had to fight the tears.

The car represented a lot of things. It was the first major purchase I had ever made, it brought me immense joy, it relieved me from my problems and worries and helped me nurse a broken heart. But most importantly, it saved my family during a crisis.

And though I have been blessed to own a beautiful car that I love today, I will never forget that two door sports car that meant the world to me.

Picture above is a Honda (known as Accura in the States) CRX. I will post a picture of my car sometime soon.

Farewell To Blogging

Scared you, didn't I?

No, I am not leaving the wonderful world of blogging but if the guys down at NEC had anything to do with it, my days sitting in front of a computer and writing my personal thoughts and feelings, not to mention the numerous gadget posts, are severely numbered.

The boys and girls at NEC Japan have built a blogging robot. You read correctly, my friends. A blogging robot. It is called PaPeRo. I guess it means "Too lazy to write and manage your own damn blog so you need a robot to do it for you" in Japanese. Just kidding.

To start off, all you have to do is talk to the little fella about your day, who's been annoying you or about the cute boy / girl you've just met, and it'll record every detail and analyse the data. Then, it'll search the Internet for suitable media, eg. images, videos, music, etc., and compose your blog using speech to text technology.

Amazing technology. But do be careful what you say when you're around it. You'll never know what will get published on your blog without your knowledge. *wink*

Pooches And Pennies

I've always said dogs are as smart, if not smarter, than humans. I've come to realise this especially from my two doggies, Eddie and Casey.

Eddie loves his orange squeak ball with which he eats, sleeps and even doo-doos. And when he knows my wife and I are free (he never bothers us when we're busy), he'll leave the ball by our side and wait patiently at a distance for us to throw it. The thing is, he catches it with extreme accuracy no matter how fast or slow the ball is thrown. He picked up this feat all by himself and it makes us so proud when visitors come by.

Eddie won't leave the ball unattended even for a minute. Obsessive? I'd have to say yes. The strange thing is, Casey figured this out too! And whenever she gets an opportunity, she'll take the ball away from him and that will put Eddie into a huge frenzy. He chases her around the house trying to get it back and she taunts and avoids him so perfectly like she has a strategy in her head. We watch in awe - and laughter.

Here's more proof that dogs are as smart as human beings. A charity organisation called Canine Partners is training Labradors (or Golden Retrievers?) to help their disabled owners to withdraw cash from ATM machines! Amazing but true!

I wonder if I could teach Eddie to do the same thing. Sadly, I know for a fact that Eddie is too short to reach any ATM machine but most importantly, my "dog-genius" might just take my money and go buy a new squeaky ball or two.

Trust Betrayed

Look up the word "betrayal" in the dictionary and you'd get definitions like "exhibition of disloyalty"and "the act of violating trust". If you've ever been on the receiving end of betrayal, you'll know that it leaves a bad taste in your mouth and a sick feeling in your stomach.

About two month ago, I was betrayed... by someone I loved and trusted all my life. As a very young boy, I watched this young and elegant lady step into the corporate world for the first time. At that time, I was filled with a strange feeling which I now recognise as pride. Soon after, I watched her get married and eventually had children of her own - whom I became very attached to. She fussed over me all the time, buying me comics, books and toys whenever she felt like it - which was often - till her children came along. She prayed hard by my Mother's side when doctors gave up all hope on me due to a medical condition at the age of 12. When my mother died, she promised she'd look after me at all cost. And when my son was born, she declared that she was his Grandma in my mother's 'absence'. For all that she had done, I would have laid down my life for her at a moment's notice - if it ever came to that.

How does one come to terms with being betrayed by someone like that?

During her difficult times, she came to me and cried on my shoulders. When her brother and his wife were (frequently) cruel and verbally hurtful towards her, she came to me to pour her woes and depended on me to take her side. Through it all, I defended her - like a son would defend his mother. Now, when I needed her to understand my perspective regarding a situation with truth and facts to corroborate, she turns a deaf ear and says she "wants to remain neutral". What is most hurtful is that this "situation" is what caused her and the rest of my family years of unhappiness, discourse and grief.

Although she no longer comes to me to lament since the confrontation, she still does to my wife. So even though she wants us to respect her wishes to "remain neutral", she still wants a listening ear for her problems. My wife, who was her biggest 'fan' when I first introdued them, is now deeply disillusioned.

My trust and faith in family, relationships and humanity has been dwindling over the years. But this turn of events has accelerated things drastically. How do you have faith in another human being after you come face to face with such a betrayal?

The damage done to my belief system is beyond repair. The same goes for my relationship with her. But what I find most sad is that my wife and I now have to instill in our little boy that life is paved with disappointments and betrayals - even from friends and relatives he may believe will be there for him. And as I watch the innocent fella laugh, play and sleep, I worry about how much it will scar him when he has to face the reality of betrayal for the first time. How I wish we could shield him forever.

Nevertheless, although I am still trying hard to get the proverbial bad taste out of my mouth, I am at peace with my conscience. I only hope she can find peace with her's.

The Power Of Pee

Some years ago, as a result of a dispute about the price of water being sold to us by Malaysia, Singapore embarked on a bold and "innovative" project to become self-sufficient when it came to our water supply. The project, named "Newater", took waste water from homes (toilets??) and sent it through a stringent and complicated process to produce clean and healthy drinking water again.

I have no doubt that the process is infallible but I sometimes cringe at the thought that I might be drinking water that originally came out of someone else. *yucks*

Looks like we've found another use for pee. A pee-filled battery has been tested and can churn out 1.5volts, that's equivalent to one dry-cell battery (think its called a dry-cell because there's no pee or other bodily fluids in it!!), for a full 90 minutes. Who knew that pee could generate that much... er... juice? (no pun intended)

Now, all we need to do is to make a pee-powered car. That'll give the world a good excuse to drink and drive.